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I've been rejected. Yay!

Thing the First
Yesterday I received a rejection on the poetry collection I sent to Toad Lily Press.

My response: “Well, that’s disappointing. But thank god.”

To which my mom was quite astonished and I proceeded to enthusiastically explain to her about the importance of SASEs, how not putting one with your submission could very well mean having your submission thrown out without having it read, how I had spent the last several weeks flailing, because I was sure I had forgotten to include said SASE with my submission.

So, um, yeah, HUGE relief that I didn’t make the idiotic mistake of forgetting to include a SASE, so much so that it soothed the sting of the rejection quite a bit.

No, seriously, I can’t tell you how stoked I am that I included the SASE.

Thing the Second
Looking over my 2013 goals this week reminded me that I wanted to try to get to 12 spoke work/open mics/author readings this year, and thus far I hadn’t. In general, I just want to be engaged with live performances, from spoken word to stage plays to music, all of which inspires me in different ways.

So, I started looking around for what’s in the area and found that Poetic Justice Wednesdays was going on at the Fahrenheit Bar in San Jose. I dropped in (after convincing my sister she had no choice but to join me) and thoroughly enjoyed myself. I was impressed by the skill of the poets and musicians who presented, their lips tumbling truths into the microphone. It’s the kind of impressive performances that intimidate me a bit, because I don’t feel good enough to do the same. But I’ll get myself up there someday soon.

 

Cross-posted to my livejournal. You are welcome to comment either her or there.

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Napowrimo Round Up

Evidence of poem #1

Poem #2: untitled

Evidence poem #3

Evidence of poems #4-7

Evidence of poems #8-11

Poem #12: “Hunted”

Evidence of poems #13-15

Evidence of poems #16-21

Evidence of poems #22-27

Poem #28: “though you can’t see it”

Evidence of poems #29-30

 

So that’s 30 new poems! Yay!

Some will remain only on the pages of my notebook, some will be reworked and submitted to journals, and some are small pieces of much, much longer works. Always a fun challenge.

If you participated in Napowrimo, how did you do?

Cross posted to my livejournal. You are welcome to comment here or there.
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Happy National Poetry Month!

I tend to forget that it’s April Fool’s Day (if not for the fact that everyone on the interwebs talks about it) and I’m also easily fooled, so chances are someone is going to have a laugh at my expense today. If you’re into that sort of thing, Jim Hines has a round up of some of the better Fool’s Day jokes that have already cropped up online.

But that’s okay, because today begins National Poetry Month! and that’s way more important. (^_^)
I will be participating in the National Poetry Writing Month challenge, which is essentially to write a poem a day in the month of April, or 30 poems total. Following the Poetic Asides prompts is an excellent way to stay inspired, if you’re participating.

I’ve been posting the poems to my tumblr the last couple of years, just to not have to cross-post and to have all the poetry in one place. I’m a bit torn as to whether I’m going to continue posting them online. On the one hand, posting them publicly is a way to hold myself accountable and actually make sure I get them done. On the other hand, posting the poems makes them ineligible for submitting to journals and I need to submit more often than I do. I’ve seen some poets put up their poems only temporarily, so maybe that’s one way to strike a compromise. I don’t know. Still thinking about that one.

Last Week In Review

My story, “The Shadow’s Flight,” was rejected by Strange Horizons. I read it over to see if I could clean it up anymore (I could), and immediately submitted to to Clarksworld, which also rejected it last week (wow! amazing response times!). So, I submitted it once again to Flesh and Blood (perhaps third times a charm?).

I managed to get through the first half of Chapter One of Under the Midday Moon. I like it so far, though it’s gone an changed where it’s going on me. So now I have to re-figure out just how I’m going to end Chapter One, which is all well and good, I suppose. At least words are getting on the page.

I ran 1.5 miles on Monday, and my foot was killing me by the end, but it started to clear up again rather quickly. But I didn’t push it on Wednesday and just did some sit ups and planks and squats instead. By Saturday my foot was feeling almost 100%, so I did a run and it went pretty smoothly. Almost no pain, which was bleeping fantastic, and I’m all set to get back to my running schedule this week. Yay!

Still struggling with my finances and trying to figure out how to handle them. I’m taking “contact accountant about retirement plans” off my to-do list for now, because I literally don’t have any extra income to invest. I need to figure out how to earn some extra money first.

Things to do in the coming week:
– Finish off Chapter One of Under the Midday Moon
– Submit something (poetry, fiction, whatever)
– Walk/Run at least three days at least 2 miles each day (0/3)
– Get California taxes done
– Sort paperwork out by year for filing
– Either purchase new a new filing cabinet(s), and/or buy folders/large envelopes, and/or go through the process of sorting and putting everything in its place
– Get data transferred from the old computer to the new one (may require giving up my computer for a few days)

Cross-posted to my livejournal. You are welcome to comment either here or there.
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*tries to remember to breathe*

So, um, guys. I … I got an email today and … and my poem, “Red Riding Hood Remembers,” which was published in Linden Avenue last year (thank you!) … It was nominated for a Rhysling award. A mother f*cking Rhysling.

You know who’s won Rhysling awards? Gene Wolfe and Ursula K. Le Guinn and Catherynne M. Valente … and I …

I know there are a ton of amazing poets nominated, and I wish them all the best. I am just so shocked and honored to be nominated, and I … just …

*faints*

*crawls back into consciousness*

In other news, while on floating on the sea of joy of the above discovery, I have submitted a short story to Strange Horizons. More giddy and joyful feelings abound.

Now, I think it’s margarita time.

(^_^)

[Cross-posted to my livejournal. You are welcome to comment either here or there.]
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The Pleasure of Wincing

I’m not entirely sure how By forgoing television, reading, and sleep, I managed to put together an 18 page chapbook submission, including the writing and rewriting of two poems from scratch, in less than two days. The package has been mailed out (and should be postmarked) on the very last day to submit. I have no idea what’s going to happen with the chapbook. It’s off and out of my control at this point.*

The most time consuming aspect of this was the selection of poem (of which I have many). When I read poetry collections, I appreciate when they have a kind of cohesion; they fit together, either thematically or stylistically. But when I look at my own poems, I feel like they don’t fit together well, like they don’t have that cohesion. I can take an individual poem I’ve written and feel rather confident about it, but when I try to pull them together into a collection all my confidence falls apart and it seems like one hot mess. It’s kind of can’t see the forest for the trees kind of thing, I guess. I can’t see the whole for the individual poems. It was like I lost all ability to assess my own work, but I struggled through it.

Part of the compilation process involved searching through old binders to find poems not in digital format. It was a wonder to see stuff I’d written in 1999 and earlier. I was so much younger then.

In his poem “Scotch Tape Body,” Ron Padget has a really great way of looking at old work and the kind of joyful/painful nostalgia that occurs. He describes looking at old poems he’d written and taped into notebook, and wonders briefly if it would have been better if he had never written the poems at all, but realizes that without those poems, he would be denied, “the pleasure of wincing / then forgiving myself / of catching glimpses of who I was / of who I thought I was.”

All the poems I wrote then got me to where I am now, and the poems I write today will get me to what I write tomorrow. It’s an evolution. So, I guess I shouldn’t kick myself or let myself doubt my current project either; I shouldn’t avoid writing out of fear of failing (which happens sometimes). If I did, I’d be denying myself the pleasure of future wincing when I look back on today.

How do you feel when looking on past projects, art, writing? Got any projects you’ve recently completed that you’re both nervous and excited about?

*I find that to be a powerful thing, to learn what you have control over and what you do not. If you do everything you can in regards to the things you do have control over, you can let go and offer up the things you don’t have control over (like whether an editor will like and accept your poetry submission).

[Cross-posted to my livejournal. You are welcome to comment either here or there.]